Without question, the best part of life revolves around the relationships that we develop with others. For those of us who are married, our relationship with our spouse is more important and rewarding than any other earthly enjoyment.
Of course, our relationship with our children produces an indescribable love. Who can put into words the love that a mother has for her children?
For those of us who are Christians, there is a bond that exists between all others of like, precious faith. That relationship is so close that brethren are willing to lay their lives down one for another (1 John 3:16).
The truth is that life is full of relationships that involve immediate family, distant family, co-workers, schoolmates, neighbors, etc. The best moments in life are shared with those with whom we have very close relationships. When good things happen to us, the first thought usually has to do with sharing the good news with those to whom we are closest. Relationships truly are the best part of life.
Relationships can get messy, though. We sometimes hurt the ones we love. For any relationship to, not only survive but flourish, it is necessary for all parties involved to have the willingness to say, I’m sorry. Many relationships, even ones as important as marriage, have started down the path of deterioration simply because one or more parties involved could not bring themselves to simply say, I am sorry. It is amazing how powerful those two words can be. Major blow-ups can be avoided or de-escalated by those simple words. On the other hand, minor differences can turn into catastrophic issues when those in a relationship refuse to say, I’m sorry when mistakes are made, or offenses are committed.
There are a few things that are necessary for a person to say, I’m sorry. First, a person must see that he or she has committed an offense. Self-examination usually helps in this area. It is remarkable how we can sometimes be the last ones to realize that we are in the wrong. Everyone else can see that we have done something, but we hold on to the personal belief that the other person is at fault for how we behaved. A good example of this is when a person is unfaithful to one’s spouse. Instead of repenting, which is a result of being sorry (godly sorrow – 2 Corinthians 7:10), the guilty party often blames the behavior of his or her spouse for their actions.
There is never a justification for unfaithfulness of any kind. Only blinders would make a person think otherwise, and those blinders prevent people from repenting and saying, I’m sorry when a wrong is committed. Of course, the real problem is not simply refusing to say I’m sorry, but the lack of truly being sorry. In many cases, people do not say that they are sorry because they are not.
What prevents a person from being sorry when they do wrong? There is probably a variety of answers to that question, but often it is simply a matter of pride. Many are unwilling to say, I’m sorry because they are too prideful.
Pride causes them to focus on the faults of someone else, often the very one against whom the wrong has been committed. Pride convinces people that their actions are not very bad, and certainly not bad enough to warrant an apology. Pride stops people from saying sorry because it leads to focusing on the self instead of the feelings of someone else.
Sometimes pride is even the culprit that leads to the wrong in the first place. Solomon reminds us that, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). And it is that same pride that leads to doing wrong that prevents one from seeing the sinfulness of his actions, repenting, and saying, I’m sorry.
The first step in saying “I’m sorry,” then, is suppressing one’s pride, which allows a person to recognize that he or she has done something wrong. Then the person who has done wrong can begin to empathize with the person whom he has wronged, which often leads to an apology. And while some wrongs are so egregious that a simple apology will not solve the damage done, very often it can greatly change the situation and lead to a resolution. Sometimes an apology will rectify the situation immediately and those involved can move forward to better things. Relationships between husbands and wives, parents and children, and even brothers and sisters in Christ, can be greatly improved, and sometimes even saved, by a simple willingness to say, I’m sorry.
Of course, the most important apology is made to God when we wrong Him. This comes in the form of a confession that follows true repentance. I mentioned above that repentance comes from godly sorrow, but to save our relationship with God when we sin, more than repentance is needed. Peter told Simon when he sinned, to “Repent, therefore, of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that, if possible, the intent of your heart may be forgiven you” (Acts 8:22). Notice that Simon was to repent and then do something else to be forgiven, that is, to pray to the Lord. John lets us know that the prayer under consideration is not just a general prayer but a recognition of fault in a request for forgiveness. He wrote this:
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). When we confess to God, we are not revealing to Him information because He already knows what we have done. Instead, we are saying to God, I’m sorry. Interestingly, the very thing that stops us from apologizing to each other when we do wrong, is the same thing that stops some from asking God for forgiveness.
Before and after John encourages us to confess our sins, he warns us about thinking we have no sin (ver. 8) or that we have not sinned (ver. 10). Again, we must suppress our pride, recognize our sin, and plead for forgiveness before God.
When it comes to relationships, whether it is our relationship with God or our relationship with other people, there are very few things more important than the willingness to say that we are sorry from time to time. Let us all humble ourselves to make sure that when the time comes, we will recognize the need for an apology and be willing to offer a simple, “I’m sorry.”