The damage that sin has done in the world cannot be estimated. Think of all the tears and heartaches that have come because of sin. Think of the families that have been broken up as a result of the sin of adultery. Think of loved ones who have been taken away by death as the result of some sinful crime. Think of the devastation of drugs and alcohol consumption. Think of how much damage has been done by greed, lasciviousness, pride, hatred, envy, and strife. Sin comes in many different forms, but the result is always the same – spiritual devastation.
Sin is not limited to the world. Sometimes we find sin among members of the body of Christ. Paul said that we have all sinned (Romans 3:23), and John makes it clear that we sin, even after we obey the gospel. “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8). Sometimes, Christians sin, not only in a general sense, but one against another. This can be particularly problematic, especially within the boundaries of a local church. When Christians sin against each other, what should take place? How should the problem be resolved? Is it best to just forget about it? Should an attitude of disdain prevail? Is it best to just keep things inside and allow negative feelings to build up? No, none of these ways is the answer. Jesus does, however, tell us how to react when sin occurs among brethren.
The Offender
First, let us note the responsibility of the offender who sins against a brother or sister in Christ. Jesus had something to say about this in the Sermon on the Mount. “Therefore if thou bring thy gift before the altar, and there remembers that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift” (Matthew 5:23-24).
There are two important things implied in these words of Christ. The first is that we cannot be right with God and wrong with our brother. The relationship that exists between brethren is a critical one. Paul once said that we are members one of another (Romans 12:5). The one who thinks he can mistreat his brother in Christ and not hurt himself is greatly mistaken. When you sin against a brother, and it remains unresolved, you cannot worship God acceptably. You cannot pray, sing, partake of the Lord’s supper, or serve God acceptably in any capacity until you take care of the sin you have committed.
The second thing implied by the words of Christ in Matthew 5 is how we go about taking care of the sin which has been committed. We can call it the face to face method. Jesus said go thy way and be reconciled. This is the best way to take care of a sin you have committed against someone. It may not be the easiest method. It might be somewhat embarrassing, and perhaps a little frightening, but it works best. I have seen brethren try to work things out through letters. But letters can be misinterpreted. As a preacher, I have had people try to use me as a message carrier. But sometimes the carrier gets things mixed up. No, the best thing to do when a brother has something against you is go to him and talk it out. Repent and apologize. See him face to face and explain yourself in person. This is the most dependable way to initiate reconciliation.
The Offended
What about the one who is sinned against? How should he or she react? I have seen brethren stop speaking to those who have offended them. Is that really Christ-like? Will it accomplish any good whatsoever? What does Jesus say about the one who is sinned against? Listen to him. “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone; if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother…” (Matthew 18:15).
Jesus continues to say that if the brother will not hear you and repent of the sin committed, you go back with witnesses (ver. 16). If he still refuses to listen, take it to the church (ver. 17). The first step, however, involves, once again, the face to face method. Do not be childish and ignore the brother who sins against you. Confront him. Do it with love and with an attitude of reconciliation, but confront him. Do not tell a bunch of other people about it first, but instead, as Jesus said, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. No matter how uncomfortable it may be, have the courage to meet him face to face. This is the will of God.
It is interesting to me that when both parties involved in this kind of situation do what God would have them to do, they will meet on the way to each other. Both will want reconciliation, and the chances of it occurring are high. Whether you are the one who sins or the one who is sinned against, go to your brother. That is what we should do when sin occurs between us.
There is one more thing. What do you do when you are made aware of the sin of a brother or sister in Christ? Just ignore it and mind your own business? No. You use the face to face method once again. Go to that brother or sister and try to restore them. Read Galatians 2:11-17 and see what Paul did under such circumstances.