Since God is forgiving by nature, and since He has extended forgiveness so extensively to man, He expects man to forgive one another. In fact, a person who refuses to forgive others will not be forgiven by God. Jesus made this abundantly clear in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 6:14-15). If you are in the habit of not forgiving those who sin against you, you need to examine your relationship with God. Do you want to be more like Him, or fulfill some kind of fleshly desire to hold a grudge? One thing I can guarantee, whatever the person you are mad at has done, it is not as bad as what you have done to God. Yet, upon your repentance, God forgives you over and over again. God demands that you do the same thing when others sin against you.

Must we forgive others unconditionally? This is where a good word study is helpful. There are two Greek words that are often translated forgive in the New Testament. The first one is aphiēmi, and means, “to send away, yield up, lay aside, let alone, etc.” When you forgive someone, you intellectually lay aside all resentment and anger and bitterness toward the one who has offended you. This word involves the ability, or more accurately, the willingness, to move on. Something important to know about this word is that, while it can include pardoning someone, it does not demand it. Jesus forgave those who nailed Him to the cross (Luke 23:34), but He certainly did not pardon them of their sins. There would have to be repentance on their part for that to happen.

This brings us to our second word for forgive. That word is charizomai and means, “to graciously grant as a favor, kindness, especially to forgive or pardon.” There are a couple of things worth pointing out here. First, this word comes from the same Greek word from which we get the word grace. People do not deserve our forgiveness; it is a matter of mercy. Second, the word always involves pardoning, and is, therefore, conditioned upon one repenting (Luke 17:3).

So, here is what we take away from these definitions of forgive. There is a sense in which forgiveness is both conditional and unconditional. The unconditional aspect of forgiveness is letting go of any hostility or bitterness harbored when someone sins against us. In other words, we must not store up feelings of anger and hostility in our minds. One simply cannot be a Christian while doing that. Bitterness and anger will eat you from the inside out and stop you from experiencing the true joy of being a child of God. The Hebrews writer said, “¹⁴ Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. ¹⁵ See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:14-15). However, when it comes to pardoning one who sins against us, we demand repentance on the part of the sinner. Even God does not pardon apart from repentance, and He does not want us to do that which He is unwilling to do. The soul of the person who sins against us is more important than our personal feelings, and that soul will not be saved unless the person repents. But, do not forget, God expects us to be proactive in such cases. In other words, when a person sins against us, we need to go to him and tell him his fault (Matthew 18:15). That means you do not gossip about it, or simply ignore it; you do what Jesus directs you to do, and if repentance occurs, then you forgive.

Let us do our best to be like God and be forgiving when others sin against us. Paul put it best when he said, “³² Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

As you wind down for the night, think on these things.