Ephesians 5 tells us more about God’s will concerning husbands and wives than any other passage in the Bible.  The teaching of Paul in verses 22-32 is of far greater value than the thousands and thousands of pages written by man in books that are supposed to be the answer to a successful marriage.

There are two important areas addressed by Paul in this context that, if applied, will guarantee a successful outcome for any marriage.  Paul deals with the role of husbands and wives and how they should behave within the bounds of their marriage.

The roles of husbands and wives are simple in Biblical terms.  The husband is the head, meaning he has final authority in the home, and the wife is to submit, meaning she recognizes the authority of her husband.  These roles are critical to a God-pleasing, successful marriage.  If you are married, I want you to think of your role as if you were playing them out in a play.

You are two people, each playing a different role, acting out a drama that is much bigger than yourselves, for, through your marriage, God is seeking to re-enact the most important script of all, that is, the story of the Lord’s marriage to His bride, the church.  In this play, the husband plays Christ, and the wife plays the church, the bride of Christ.  If you reverse these roles, or if you fail to play your roles correctly, the play will be a failure.

There are people in the audience who are watching.  If you play your roles correctly, you will demonstrate to the world what it means for Christ to love the church, and for the church to submit to Christ.  However, when a husband does not love his wife sacrificially, he portrays Jesus, not the way He really is, but as an unloving Lord.  When a wife usurps the authority of her husband and strives to take control of the family, she is telling the audience that the church does not have to submit to Christ.

Now, peek out from behind the curtain and see who is in the audience watching your play.  Your children are there.  Your neighbors are there.  Your friends from work are there. Other members of the church are there.  They are all watching the play because you are in it.  They are there just to see you.  Remember, this is not a detective show or an action hero movie that they are watching.  You are not playing a tough guy or a damsel in distress.  You are playing the role of Christ and His church.  Here is the question: What will those watching the play learn?  Will they learn about the love that Christ has for His church?  Will they learn about the submissive role of the church to Christ?  What will they learn about the relationship of Christ and His church when they observe your marriage?

Play your role well because one day the curtain will close, and the play will be over.  The One who wrote the script, that is God, will not ask you about the performance of your spouse, but He will ask you, “Did you play your role faithfully?” Did you keep to the script, or did you adlib, ignoring the instructions of the director?  Not only is the success of your marriage at stake, but also the salvation of your souls.

All of us who are husbands and wives must strive to play our roles the way God commands, behaving in a way that pleases Christ.  That means, if you are a husband, you must love your wife the way Christ loves the church, always acting in her best interest and doing all you can to help her spiritually.  If you are a wife, you must not only recognize the final authority of your husband but be a helper to him, helping him to play his role well.  This is God’s recipe for a successful marriage.  It works.  It always has and we should not be surprised by this since God is the one who created marriage in the first place.

As you wind down for the night, think about these things