Why do so many marriages fail today?  There are many reasons.  Infidelity and money issues are the two leading causes of divorce, statistically speaking.  But there is something that lies behind the outward causes of divorce and that is the view that people generally have of marriage today.  Most people simply do not see marriage the way God does.  Many marriages fail because society has developed philosophies about marriage that are contrary to the will of God.

One example of this is the so-called “individualistic approach.”  Many perceived experts have decided that personal feelings, pleasure, and rights should be sought first in marriage.  After all, it is concluded, one cannot make someone else happy if he or she is not happy first.

The problem is this individualistic approach does not help improve marriages, it destroys them.  For example, Barbara DeAngelis, a so-called expert on marriage has made millions of dollars giving individualism-based advice through fifteen best-selling books and a TV infomercial called “Making Love Work.”  Yet, DeAngelis has been married at least five times, including a marriage to none other than relationship expert John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus. By the way, Mr. Gray was her third marriage, and it was his second.  This individualistic approach does not work.

No one should be surprised by this because the approach is contrary to God’s Word.  God’s plan is for husbands and wives to become one flesh in a relationship that involves giving and sacrificing and putting one’s spouse before self.  In fact, this is God’s plan for just being a good Christian, and the truth is, being a good Christian is the best way for you to have a successful marriage (Philippians 2:3-4).

There is another view of marriage that most have today that is raising the divorce rate.  While God sees marriage as a covenant that must be kept, man sees marriage as a contract almost meant to be broken.  One of the backlashes of this philosophy is the no-fault divorce law which makes getting a divorce less costly and more hassle-free for couples with so-called irreconcilable differences.  The problem is the interpretation of “irreconcilable differences.”  Most people today think that an “irreconcilable difference” is anything that makes them the slightest bit unhappy;  thus, it is often the case that at the first sign of trouble, the marriage is dissolved, and because of the “no-fault” laws today, dissolving a marriage is a relatively simple thing to do.  Listen to this Michigan judge:

“It is easier to divorce my wife of 26 years than to fire someone I hired one week ago. The person I hire has more legal clout than my wife of 26 years. That’s wrong.”  –Judge Randall Hekman, President of the Michigan Family Forum

That is wrong.  Someone else said, “it is easier to break the marriage contract than it is to back out of buying a car.”  What is the solution to this problem?  The problem will probably just keep getting worse so far as society is concerned, but as individuals, whether you are contemplating marriage or already married, the answer to the problem is to simply see marriage the same way God does—as a covenant.

Malachi 2:14 (ESV)
¹⁴  But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

When two people enter into marriage, they are entering into a binding covenant that puts them under the obligation to stick together.  This is what God always intended marriage to be—a binding agreement that lasts for life (Genesis 2:22; Matthew 19:3-9).

How do you see marriage?  I hope you see it as God does and never put asunder what God has joined together.

As you wind down for the night, think about these things.