This week we are considering the importance of tongue control. Last night we emphasized the importance of telling the truth. Paul said, “Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor…” (Ephesians 4:25). You might say to yourself, “I do not lie so I have perfect control of my tongue.” Well, there are other ways that the tongue may be misused. In this blog let us think about the importance of saying things to others that are helpful.

Our words can be either helpful or hurtful. Our determination should be to speak to others in a helpful manner. Paul put it like this:

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV2011)
²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Mothers used to tell their children, “if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.” Mothers are so wise, aren’t they? Think of the problems that would be avoided, and the heartache averted, if we would all follow that advice. It is not just advice given by wise mothers, it is the advice of an inspired apostle of Christ. Remember, as an ambassador of Christ, Paul was speaking in His place. So, when he tells us that we must only allow things that are good to come out of our mouths, that is really Jesus saying that to us. Indeed, Jesus has warned us directly about the manner in which we speak.

Matthew 12:36 (ESV)
³⁶ I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,

I think it is safe to say that it is important that we think carefully before we talk. When we talk, let us be mindful of the feelings of others. That is the only way that we can avoid hurting others. Oftentimes people do great damage with the tongue without even realizing it. They do not recognize that their words are harmful because they are too caught up with getting something off their chest, or maybe just so self-absorbed that they do not even notice that the person to whom they are speaking is upset. Even worse, maybe they just do not care. As Christians, we cannot have that mentality and maintain a good standing with God.

Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV)
³ Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Notice, Paul says “do nothing from selfish ambition…” Would not our speech be included in this admonition? When you are talking to others, do not be selfish. Think about what you are saying and whether it is really helping the one to whom you are speaking. Always remember, not every-thing that comes to your mind has to come out of your mouth. There are some things that we should just keep to ourselves, even if we are dying to say them. James’ advice should be followed here. “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak…” (James 1:19).

Let us listen to our mothers and keep quiet if we do not have anything good to say.

As you wind down for the night, think on these things.