Unnecessary words can be the source of much harm. On the other hand, not saying what needs to be said can cause problems as well. In the great book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon tells us that “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” (Ecclesiastes, 3:1). He gives us a series of examples, one being, “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak” (ver. 7). Controlling the tongue demands an understanding of these times.

• Speaking when we should be silent

I indicated in an earlier blog this week that we do not have to say everything that comes to our minds. Much hurt and harm could be avoided if we would learn, or, better yet, if we would apply this lesson. It would be wise for us to remember what Jesus said about careless words (Matthew 12:36). After telling us that we will have to give an account for every careless word, He finishes His thought in the next verse by saying, “for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Clearly, we should choose our words carefully, realizing that sometimes it is best to say nothing at all. Many wise men have reminded us of this truth.

“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt” (Abraham Lincoln).

“I have never been hurt by anything I did not say” (Calvin Coolidge).

“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise” (Solomon, Prov-erbs 10:19).

• Being silent when we should speak

While problems caused by the tongue come most often by people talking too much, sometimes there is the problem of not talking enough. There comes a time when we need to warn people of the sinfulness of their ways. If we just remain silent, God will hold us accountable.

Ezekiel 3:20 (ESV)
²⁰ Again, if a righteous person turns from his righteousness and commits injustice, and I lay a stumbling block before him, he shall die. Because you have not warned him, he shall die for his sin, and his righteous deeds that he has done shall not be remembered, but his blood I will require at your hand.”

Saying nothing when someone’s soul is at stake is not acceptable to God. Sometimes we have to speak whether we want to or not. What should we do when a brother or sister sins against us? Jesus tells us to rebuke them (Luke 17:3). This is not optional. Jesus was giving us a divine di-rective. Why? Because a soul is at stake. If the one who sins does not repent, he or she will be lost, and it might well be that our rebuke is the only thing that can cause the person to repent. By not rebuking the one who sins against us, we may be avoiding the discomfort of a personal con-frontation, but we will not escape the consequences of disobeying God.

We can better control our tongues when we learn when it is time to be silent and time to speak. The former can be avoided by keeping our pride in check, the latter by having the courage to obey God.

As you wind down for the night, think on these things.